It must be another Divine Dream...
How long have I been Dreaming-with stars in my eyes-will I dream forever-trapped in your web-with eyes open?



Just for a laugh - The Final Update
Posted on July 10, 2011 at 12:24am

I thought I would post in here one last time. This journal is dead. Ka-put. Finished. This place holds some very crazy memories in my life. Some happy ones, lot of sad ones, and some just plain stupid ones.

It's sad to see this era of my life end but I feel with my moving to Alaska, this really does begin my life as an adult. When I first started this journal I never imagined my life being like it is now. There is so many things I feel like has slipped through my fingers, however there are also many things I've gotten to experience in return, Korea for example.

Nevertheless I am saying this is officially it. The formal end to a journal that has long been dead. Now I begin a new era in my life and really say good-bye to my teen / young adult years. I will keep this journal up just so I can always remember when I feel like going back. And when I need a reminder, that I did it. I survived some very trying and difficult years.

Goodbye, Farewell, and Goodnight!

( )

:: mood nostalgic  

Posted on August 09, 2008 at 10:34pm

The past few days have been very very very uneventful. Has everyone fallen off the face of the earth?

( 5 | )

:: mood lonely  

Posted on August 08, 2008 at 9:47pm

I successfully made pot eggs. They were delicious. For those of you who don't know what pot eggs are, I feel sorry for you. No they are not made with weed.

( 3 | )

:: mood nostalgic  

Days in which the world won't know I exist
Posted on August 03, 2008 at 7:46pm

Well I just keep moving up in Wal-Mart world. Today I was just offered to run my own department by myself. The department will be produce and I can work second shift to fit around my student teaching. I really hope they do work with me on this. Because I won't be able to get there at 1 if I'm student teaching. 3 is about the time I'd have to get there. But I'd work until 11 instead of 10 and I could work the full shift on Saturday and Sunday. And I would have two days off during the weekday. So that means only three days out of my work week would have to be cut a bit.

However this means on top of working full time as a department manager, I'll be student teaching. Which means no time to do anything. But I will do it, because I may not get a teaching job here in Michigan for a while. If I can get into management, I may just stay with management and look for higher up management after I graduate this winter.

I have found I like doing what I do. I also like teaching but sometimes things happen for a reason. And I think that maybe I could be a retail store manager somewhere. I seem to be good with retail, and people love me at Wal-Mart. Even if I do have a Bachelors degree in Elementary Education, I do have a Bachelors degree. If I show that I have experience in leadership already, it could help me get my foot in the door.

Either way most of my social time will be taken up by me writing lesson plans, working, grading, sleeping, and just relaxing. I am taking my work and my student teaching very serious this time. Most if not all of my attention will be focused on those things.

Only a few more weeks to go before I dissappear for a while.

( 1 | )

:: mood hopeful  

Yeah Yeah Yeah We've heard it all before
Posted on July 30, 2008 at 11:57pm

I really don't post much here anymore, which is probably for the better anyways. Everything I have to say anymore has already been said many times before. Why bother saying it again?

I did however enjoy camping quite a bit. Despite the fact that one of the campers that appearantly is some regular was giving us a hard time about registering. We ended up paying for two nights but didn't realize that it was 12 bucks per family. And there are only two tents allowed per campsite. It was kind of crazy.

Spent a lot of time swimming in the lake that is about 3/4 the size of camp lake. But Amy, Jason, Ashley Joyce and I spent like 2 hours swimming the whole thing. Highbank Lake is now our bitch. Stayed up until about 1 am each night drinking and playing "I have Never", roasting marshmellows and just being drunk as hell. On the last night we all piled into Amy's super tent and slept on a air matress that doesn't like to keep air.

Tonight I drowned some of my frusterations in listening to my MP3 player while working in the back because again I was the only one closing in my department. Music really helped the shift go by much quicker.

Anyways not much else to say. I'm still in crapville went it comes to getting anywhere with the opposite sex. I sometimes feel like I've got this curse placed on me. Anytime I get anywhere for some reason it never works out. Blech. Women frusterate me to no end somedays.

I work in less than 7 hours.

( 2 | )

:: mood aggravated  

Yes another one of these
Posted on July 20, 2008 at 1:04am

U 'n d'kkubf ub kicw qurg gwe ur;a seucubf nw xe'/t, Vwx'yaw kujw yay'k agw siwab;r kicw nw, Qgt x'b;r U hyar kwr gwe fi>

( )

:: mood crushed  

Yes I know I ripped of the line "I walk the line"
Posted on July 14, 2008 at 12:56am

You named me judge the day that we had met
you asked to much to think that I'd forget
Things got out of hand, now I understand

And I'm out of your range
now it's kind of strange
how we change orbit in our lives
You were kind of a moon outside of my room
I could just feel you nearby
now I feel your gone
'Cause I know which side your on
And it's not mine

I walk the line between now and then
It's deep-sea diving with no oxygen
guess I went somewhere to hide
far behind my eyes
I willed you there to see
but you never came for me

And I'm out of your range
now it's kind of strange
how we change orbit in our lives
You were kind of a moon outside of my room
I could just feel you nearby
now I feel your gone
'Cause I know which side your on
And it's not mine

and it's not mine...

( )

:: mood frustrated  

The great war hero condemns the terrorist lover
Posted on July 07, 2008 at 9:44am

I have made up my mind. I'm going to volunteer this year for the Obama Campaign. I don't care if it's extra time I may not have. I've just been reading the political analysis of the campagin and while Obama is still in the lead in the overall polls, I can see the warning signs of quite possibly a very disastorous ending.

First of all, while Obama has a semi slim margin in the popular poll, if you look at the electoral college polls. There are TONS of red states with Mc Cain in the lead. FLASHBACKS TO 2000 ANYONE?! I'm sorry but I will not have this. Obama may not be the ideal Democratic candidate but he sure is a hell of a lot better than a once supposedly "free-thinking" Republican that had much appeal to us Independents. Mc Cain has miraculously turned himself into the party lap-dog overnight and everyone in his party seems to have all but forgotten those times.

You can hear it in Mc Cains election rhetoric. The same old fear-mongering that has been used for years by the Republicans to win elections. Painting Obama as unpatriotic. Or saying that he will fall to terrorists and that we should be afraid of his hippie extreme liberal agenda. In every single speech I hear from Mc Cain it's the same old dead horse that was beaten in the 2000 and the 2004 election. And it's working. Mc Cain has gained two points in the past week and Clinton supporters are still whinning like bitches.

So you see my concern. We're at an election year where this election should have been in the bag for the Democrats and it's looking to be very close, and I cannot stand to have another Republican in the office. At least not now. I am an Independent and I always will be, but I have always tended to lean more to the liberal side. After the past eight years and seeing how Mc Cain has also handled himself, I cannot in good conscience vote for a Republican. Plus I agree much with what Obama is saying. He's the first candidate I think I've been really excited about. I never was too pumped up for Kerry. Al Gore was kind of exciting but I didn't pay as much attention because I couldn't vote for him at that time.

This is why I am volunteering for Obama's camp. I may not be able to win the election for him, but I will do my best to make sure that Michigan will be another blue state on that map. I want him in office badly, and I take this election seriously. I just wish people took politics as seriously as I do.

( 1 | )

:: mood determined  

I feel a dream in me expire
Posted on July 05, 2008 at 2:58am

It seems to have happened a lot lately. Wanting something I can't have. I'd really like nothing more to just not care and be happy about it. But it's so frusterating to get my hopes into something like that, have it dangling so close and it being yanked away. "Just kidding!"

That's been happening in more than one facet of my life right now. But I mean other than those few frusterations I'm very happy. I have a lot of great friends, my job is going great despite being overworked, and I am getting along better than ever with my dad. So I can't really complain too much. But I still can't help feeling the way I do.

Anyways I had a great 4th! Grand Haven was a blasty-blast. Met up with Emily, Ashlee, Ashley, Ashley, Matt, and Ashley Joyce's friend that I don't remember the name of. Matt, Emily, and I went swimming where the water was....nippy. And then we had great food and a few beers. Finally we ended the night with watching the Water Fountain and Fireworks.

Ran into Courtenay whom I haven't seen since the end of school year. It was great and surpising to see her. Maybe she might start hanging out. We'll see though. =P

Okay I've rambled and whined enough. Now I'm going to bed so I can go back to work and continue the routine over and over again. I can't wait to student teach.

( )

:: mood blah  

I got this question on the compare me facebook app
Posted on June 30, 2008 at 1:57pm

For anyone that knows the Dalrymple's and the continuing joke with them, you will definitely find amusment out of this:
A battle of epic proportions...Collapse )

( )

:: mood amused  

My mystical entry for the week
Posted on June 25, 2008 at 10:06am

So it's another day off and I'm really bored already. Maybe I'll call my dad and see what he's up to. It is (the) WOBBLY wombat practice day so that will happen later. I'm excited for us to finally finish an EP and get our music out there. Maybe setup some concerts. I am also thinking about finally releasing my Silent Heart CD along with the EP. I've been meaning to release it for so long but I've never had the means or the support to do so. I think now with the support of my bandmates, I think that Silent Heart might be able to go somewhere other than just into the hands of a few people that I share the CD with.

I've had this feeling for a while and I think it's coming true. Something big is happening. This is much like the feelings from years ago. I have a feeling something big is coming and I don't know what and I think I've been searching in all the wrong places. I do know that one thing I've been searching for I'm going to just let go of my fear and see if it can happen. I'm tired of watching things pass me by.

And as for this fall, I think this was meant to happen. I've never been able to understand it and I doubt many other people would understand it either, but I still feel like my time is not finished in Sparta. I've always felt that. Maybe student teaching in Sparta was what I was feeling. Maybe something is supposed to happen there. I've always been a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason. Well maybe that's what happened with Brookside. Maybe I wasn't meant to finish student teaching there. Maybe it was preparing me for teaching at my old middle school.

There is so much more that has been running through my brain but that's the jist of it. I've just been getting these feelings that everything starting from 2003 when I first starting feeling this way has lead me up to something in my life. For example, meeting Stacey. I mean yeah nothing ever came out of that except my love for Guster. Big deal right? Except Guster is awesome. BUT if I had never met Stacey, Alex and Rachael would not be dating.

Wrap that around your brain. If I hadn't gotten into Guster from Stacey, I would have never sang it at Karaoke with Matt that one night. Thus Rachael would have never asked us about Guster and to talk to us. THUS, Alex would have never met Rachael through us. See?! Everything HAPPENS FOR A REASON!

Okay yeah so maybe that's a little silly but it's weird to see the connections like that. And it still doesn't keep me from wondering where I'm heading or where I'll end up.

( 1 | )

:: mood thoughtful  

A demonstration of how my imagination thought it ought to be
Posted on June 23, 2008 at 5:48pm

I ran across this old CD that I had owned from when I was 12. One of the first CDs I ever bought. It's country of course but it brings me back to my time when things were much simpler. Singing my made up songs on my cassette player, building forts out of blankets and sheets over my bunk beds. Walking down to the lake with Junior and playing fetch with him until I got tired (because he never got tired of that, ever).

It's interesting that I found this CD today. Last night I just got the feeling to drive to Sparta by myself after work last night. I sat in front of that place in the lake and stared for almost an hour. It just seemed like something was gone. Missing. Those days of Sparta when I lived there, the days of visiting there a few years ago. I don't know but it was a little depressing.

I know I shouldn't get like that and always live in the past. But it just feels like I wish I could go back into the past knowing what I know. Maybe I could change a lot of things that just never seem to go the right way for me. And maybe I wouldn't take the good things I once had for granted. I know, I know, live and learn blah blahhh.

We're all allowed a day of nostolgic mopery every once in a while. Today is mine.

Straight out of some story
You walked in, in all your glory
I thought you were perfect for me
I was out of my mind
Looked like I was winning
It was the best love Id ever been in
Just when we were beginning
The end-you left me behind

And I was looking forward to a happy ending
So much for pretending

I should have known better
Than to think of happy ever
After-you and me together
I was out of my league
I kept my heart hidden
And now Im wishing that I didnt
Oh who am I kidding
You werent even intrigued

And I was looking forward to a happy ending
So much for pretending

It could have been beautiful
If Id only met you
If Id only let you know
What you meant to me
And if I could I would
Give you a demonstration
Of how my imagination
Thought it ought to be
So much for pretending

Ooh yeah, pretending...pretending
So much for pretending

( )

:: mood bored  

It's an adventure without an end forseen (pt. 3)
Posted on June 20, 2008 at 11:09pm

So I have been taking the advice, one day at a time. I'm being patient and it seems to be working. Or at least I feel better now, more relaxed. I must say I have been having some fun adventures in the meantime.

On that subject of fun adventures I've been hiking a lot lately in Buck Creek. At facebook I've been posting the pictures of mine and Amy's adventure down there. We got rather close to some deer that didn't notice us at all. Then we rode on bouncy animals in the "EXIT: DO NOT ENTER" park. Don't ask. We couldn't figure out the name of the park so we named it the first sign that we saw. Which was obviously what I just stated.

Today I drove up to Holland and kept Amy company while she toiled away on her last three papers for her summer class. I even added a few pieces of advice too. Now she'll for sure get an A. =P

For a future adventure it looks like after talking about it for YEARS I'm actually going to get to organize a camping outing. Amy and I thinking about going someplace close on the 14th and 15th of July. That's a Monday and Tuesday. P.J. Hoffmaster sounds intruiguing but I have to look up prices yet. We'll see what I find. Anyone interested in this little tiny excursion let me know ASAP!

( 1 | )

:: mood optimistic  

Yay for a vague/ not so vague post
Posted on June 17, 2008 at 4:00am

I spent a lot of time thinking yesterday after hanging out with my dad. It's funny how well he seems to have an understanding of things. I guess sometimes it does help to have been around for awhile and have experienced some things.

I kind of told him about everything that's going on. Including work, friends, and other things. He mentioned how it seems like I should be patient with this. (This meaning a few things). If it is that important to me, then I should be willing to wait things out and see how they work out. I should show that it is important to me and be clear on how I feel, but be patient and it will all work out in the end.

I find this funny because this bit of advice applies to three situations that are going on in my life. One including work. The other two including friends. I get this feeling like things in my life lately have been building up to a certain point and very soon I will have a lot of the answers I need. I am crossing my fingers.

This is what happens when I wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep. Vague livejournal entries. Aren't they fun?

( 1 | )

:: mood hopeful  

Posted on June 12, 2008 at 3:10pm

Why do I have the feeling I am getting played big time?

( )

:: mood frustrated  

When summer is over we'll dream of spring
Posted on June 10, 2008 at 1:33am

A safe position -- a back against the wall
A simple shrug to shurg the questions off
When there's no action, there's no reaction
Curb the dead, avert the consequence
So if no one moves, and no one speaks a word
We could act OK

(We must standstill -- we must honor the stalemate)
And we must slumber... have we ever been awake?
Have we done a thing?
When summer's over will we dream of spring?
Safety can be disabling
A crippled history as an absentee

A safe position -- turn off the phone
Hang the blankets over the windows
'Cause if no one's home, then there's no one responsible
There's no response for disappointed eyes
To see through you -- well, they can't see you anymore

(We must standstill -- we must honor the stalemate)
Until we're pawned off... have we ever been present?
Are we too past tense?
When summer's over will we face autumn?
Safety is disabling
A crippled history
Crippled history
A crippled history...

Absentee... absentee... You're safe with me
Curb the deed, avert the season
Absentee... absentee... You're safe with me
When summer's over will you dream of your crippled history
Crippled history
Crippled history
Crippled history
Absentee... When summer's over will you dream of your crippled history
Crippled history
Crippled history
Crippled history

I love when I get in one of these moods. I write songs like there is no tomorrow. But speaking of present, today was magical almost. Everything was almost perfect that stupidly I get scared that something will fuck it up. I think I really like where my life is at right now. It feels like everything is moving right place. I guess that's where this song came from. My fear of the unknown when everything seems like it's going well.

( )

:: mood thoughtful  

And the winner is.....
Posted on June 04, 2008 at 5:13pm

So yesterday was pretty much awesomeness. Went to Holland and checked out some shops there and ate at The Windmill. Then went over to the state park to walk out to the end of the pier at Lake Michigan. Get home and decided I'd go check up on the Ferris Rockumentary contest. I figured Matt, Nate, and my band was still probably in second place. So I head over to the website.

!!!!!!!!!!!! We get a spot on the GRD Bootleg CD as well! WHOA! For those of you that don't know, the GRD Bootleg CD is a CD that features local bands recording a song at their studio. Lots of time WGRD will play songs from that CD to promote it. The CD helped Pop Evil become quite popular in the Michigan area. And we get to be on it, along with the first place finisher band Absinthe.

( 2 | )

:: mood ecstatic  

Day 2
Posted on May 27, 2008 at 9:04am

So one day down of my two days in a row off. Being a Department manager is tiring. Especially when you have two of your people leave early on your second official shift as department manager. But oh well, other than the job is going great. The people work hard and I rarely have to get on anyones case.

Today I don't know what I want to do. Yesterday I spent much of my day hanging out with Steve for the first time in like 5 or 6 months. We have now decided that we're going to make a Zelda movie. One day of hanging out again and we've already got more crazy ideas. This one should be really fun though. I'm already starting to think of who will be what characters.

The weather today is cloudy and cold which pretty much defeats all my ideas for today. I wanted to maybe go golfing again or get some friends to go to the Carnival in front of Rogers Plaza. I love cheesy carnivals. But the weather isn't really the greatest for it right now.

There is much I want to do this summer. The question is will I get to do it before student teaching.

( )

:: mood cranky  

Yayy zoo and new House
Posted on May 24, 2008 at 11:51pm

So I've moved into a new place after the Eastown house busted. The guy that owned the Eastown house was losing money so he had to change how he was renting it out. Sooo TADA I live here now.

Check it out!Collapse )

So then yesterday I went to the zoo with a couple of co-workers and I have a few of my favorite pictures here.
MORE PICTURES?!?!?Collapse )

So there are more pictures of the zoo over at facebook but I'm waaaaayyy too lazy to post all of them here. In other news I got promoted to the other department manager in the meat department. Because the meat department is open from like 5-11 they need another manager there when the other one isn't scheduled. That would be me! I'm still kind of in training but I have all of the duties of a manger. The bad thing is, it is even going to be harder to find myself free time.

( 2 | )

:: mood hungry  

Posted on May 22, 2008 at 10:01am

My name is Daniel Bowen, I am secretly a vampire named Barnabus Collins. I like to talk about parquet floors and eat Mc Pork sandwiches. I would be most grateful if you also found me Josette Collins so I could stop obsessing over her.

Okay I am the biggest dork I know. But whatever Darcy's icon she made for me is so worth it. Now I go shower and hang out with Mattbob.

( 2 | )

:: mood chipper  

( go | earlier )